Mostly Wordless Wednesday

So let me get this straight, no caulk?  Lets take a closer look shall we...

Hint, we will not be purchasing this tub, or maybe even from this company for our remodel just because they are stupid.

OH Momma!

Check out my girl Megan's @ Rambling of a Crazy Momma Sex up your Saturday Nights contest.  You can win a 25 dollar gift card to Eden Fantasies!

It's worth checking it out, but do it before Midnight on the 24th of this month!  How fun does her massage stuff look?

Tick Me Off Tuesday

I took to writing letter to those who annoyed me this week:

•  Creepy-crawlies:                                                                                                                          There really is not a lot to say to you but, go away and die.  I understand the whole circle of life BS and such, I have seen the Lion King.  What I don't understand is why there are more of you in my yard right now than we are in debt nationally!  It is "silking" time for you nasty SOB's that means all the little baby spiders are hatching and taking flight on the wind.  Nowhere in Charlotte's Web did I see you all infesting everything and lying in wait to scare the living hell out of me.  Its way more of this...

 And nothing like this...

Only proves the point that I have to go out and check the mail with a can of RAID.  When I walk out the door, and am attacked by your webs and likely millions of those little white offspring I really want to scream. You are everywhere! Oh and to the Mommy spider who was as big as dime my head who tried to bum-rush me the other day, I hope you enjoyed your death my "outdoor" scented insecticide.  Beotch!  Took at LEAST 10 years off my life.

The thought of you on my clothing, or worse in my hair makes me want a new jacket (see jacket comment below).  I should not have to take a shower just because I am trying to kill something that may or may not be in my hair!
My yard garbage can, and mailbox all look like like this minus the trees:

 So, in closing again, Go away and die.  That is all, thank you.

~Me

• Dearest Weatherman,
  

Put the dishes where they belong!  We have lived in hell Hastings for now just shy of 5 years.  In that time I have never changed the place dishes go in the cupboards.  Here is a quick breakdown of some of the places.  Level for the plastic cups, coffee mugs and coke glasses, top for overflow.  Next one over all your to go coffee glasses.   Then the bowls and plates which for some reason only when you are putting away dishes end up with storage bowls of varying sizes, measuring spoons, yeah spoons, and who can forget the colander.   Now I wouldn't mind too much, but I distinctly remember numerous tissy fits thrown by an adult male in the house about NOT being able to find shat.  Spoons drawer, colander and storage bowls in the lower cupboard you picked to put them in when we first moved here.  Honestly, I cannot keep up with keeping your shat, little dudes, the dog and my own straight all the time.  Keep it up and you will be having to get me a new jacket by my 30th birthday.

The irony of it all is when said tissy fit occurred again this week, and I had to find the baster for you, you were lecturing little dude on the importance of putting things in the correct place.

You may go back to looking all cute now.

Sincerely,
~Your ruler Wife

• Dear Sully,

It's totally cool that you take the weatherman's spot.  In fact, I find it rather funny.  But, when we take my spot or try to kill me in the dark, it is so not cool.  Sunday night I totally about fell off the bed as you magically transported yourself on to my side in the dark in the matter of 1/2 a second.  Really, I was unaware of the Havanese being of Cuban decent.  You being born in Canada and shown for 3 months in Hollyweird I was unaware you had time for you learned the ways of a ninja.

That being said don't use it on me again.  I can fall out of bed quite well on my own.  Thanks for the help tho.

~Your loving owner.
 

• Totally Tick Me Off Tuesday is the brain child of Mommy from the Midwest.  Check out her blog, and look for more people who participate in TTMOT!  This is her "award" to those who Tick us off weekly.  I posthumously award it this week to all of those who have ticked us off!

So one of my regular readers sent me some love.  I hardly had time to prepare a speech:

Ahem,

I would like to thank I Wonder Wye for this wonderful award.   I would like to thank the Nobel Prize committee or the academy, er wait.  Now, I get to bestow on the others and spread the love and I couldn't be more excited to do so.

 Drum roll Please...

Mommy Elephants Everyday Adventures- A girl after my own heart when it comes to raising a little dude cute as can be!
My First Official Blog-Christina is a hoot and has some cool stuff posted.  For a new blog, it is lovely!
I Hate Whine- Another Mommy blog with a whole litter of little darlings!
Now for the new rules:
When you are recipient of a 'lovely blog award' you are to post it, (natch) - link the name of the lovely person's blog who awarded it to you, and then, the fun part, find someone who doesn't have one yet whose blog you follow, and spread the love. They then display it with your link on their blog.

How do you tell this guy no?

This is an email from my friend Marsha (as seen in my Tick Me off Tuesday blogs from time to time) about her daughter.  Next time you have a guy on your tail, bu happy he's not a stinker like this dude!

So, Sara is at Va Tech and she tells us in one of her e-mails that they don't have stray cats on campus like other universities - they have stray skunks!

Well, MrMarsha and I are skeptical and ask her if she's sure it's a skunk, so she sends us this picture (see attached!)

Sure enough - it's a skunk.

 

So, we're skype chatting Monday night and Sara is telling us all about her classes and stuff and then she says, "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to tell y'all this!"

She then proceeds to tell us how she is walking to class one day last week, early - she has an 8 a.m. class every day - and she notices how everyone is staring at her.  She doesn't think anything of it at first, but more and more people start staring.  So she looks around her and the first thing she sees is the SKUNK! He is walking right beside her! Following her happily.  He looks up at her as she looks down at him - like some type of confirmation of "yep, I'm with you!" and keeps walking with her. So, she has named him Theodore.  She thinks he's the cutest thing, he doesn't follow anyone else and it's just hilarious. We asked her if she is feeding him - nope she says.

Then she tells us that the squirrels follow her around too - so she has now inherited the nickname "Snow White"

I suppose I'd rather have a skunk follow her and stalk her as opposed to some crazed lunatic teenage male human being!

 

Week In Review

Another week come and gone and all I have to show for it is really being just that much closer to insanity death.

• I stole back the cheap MP3 player I won from the now defunct coffee house last year from Corey.  Sooner or later I will decided on an MP3 player, but touch ones scare the holy hell out of me. I loaded all my songs to it.  Collective Soul, Extreme/ Nuno/ Population One/ Drama Gods/ Mourning Widow, Andrew W. K., Disturbed, Rob Zombie, Godsmack, Creed, Marylin Manson, a couple songs from Twilight, even a Kelly Clarkson song or two.  I am sure there are some missing but you get the drift.

• Tae Kwon Do went well for the Little dude on Tuesday, he seems to really like it. Have you seen this pic yet, if not where ever have you been?
  

• Being the Mother of the year I am, this week decided to bribe Logan to behave in school with a Smencil .  It is a scented pencil made from recycled news paper.  I know someone get me the Tree-Hugging Hippy Award.  Wait for it...

BOOM BABY!

Sorry couldn't resist putting that sezzy SOB back into my blog.  I missed him and I bet you did too. MEOW!

• I wasn't fooled by the balloon boy drama of this past week, I think people are naturally liars.  Espically thouse who will whore themselves out just to be on RealityTV.  I think Dr. House sums this stunt up quite well.   Most people, not EVERYONE will lie to get their 15 minutes.  Shameless.
  
  
  

As a mother, if my kid would have been though to be dead I wouldn't have let hims out of my arms but his Mother was fawning all over the oldest kid in the interviews I caught.  Most of you know I don't watch a lot of reality Tv to begin with.  These people are one reason why.   

• Wednesday for some reason my alarm neglected to go off.  I had taken out my contacts the night before and re awoke 10 minutes before Little dude was to be at school.

I couldn't believe I fell asleep again!  Luckily he was fed, dressed already in watching TV happily in his room.  I rushed to get his teeth brushed and Corey brought him to school just in time for the kids to be filing into class.  There is something to be said for living close enough to school to be late and still be on time!

• Time for serious crap so if you want to be entertained skip this.  I fielded phone calls from friends about topics I wish would never some up.  The kind that gives me nightmares like no other.  I understand the need for a sounding board, and all who do call I love you for looking to me and trusting me to give you advise.  Un-snarky, serious, most of the time.  I think most of my readers know I was molested for the 1st nine years of my life by no less then 5 dirt bags, I cannot even call them men.  Reluctant trips to therapy didn't leave a dent in the PTSD, a chip on my shoulder did.  Upon the death of the instigator in Feb or March of '04 it dawned on me my mother had known the whole time what was going on, all those years and turned her back on it.  So, in a nutshell that sums up the lack of closeness with Mommy Dearest.    I have also been stalked once at 13, had a "fan" break into the locked radio station I was working at which got me a "babysitter" every time I was working there.  While in Kansas by a dude straight out of JOCO correctional for rape and kidnapping.  Oh lucky, suck me!  He may also be the one who was leaving "gifts" on our front porch, and started calling in the death threats to my work that subsequently got me fired right before my wedding.  I say these things not to garner respect and GOD not for sympathy, but to let some of you who don't know me personality to better understand me and why I act the way I do.  I survived, basically on my own.  A statistical anomaly that I am normal-ish.  In the last several months of have had some phone calls questioning what to do from an Auntie to some little girls, advise on what she could do to lessen the pain for her and the girls.  My advise, love them, make them not feel dirty, tainted, and different.  Pretty much the opposite of what I felt almost all of my life.  Corey made it clear he didn't want me to become a child advocate in rape cases from the start of our relationship.   I struggle with his decision as usual, but deal with it.  The Princess needs protecting thing again for him again.  Grr...This last call was from a friend who's girlfriend got a scary wake up call.  Party girl no more, I hope.  

So now that I have depressed the hell out of everyone with my bleak look into humanity lets move on...

• I ordered a new neck for the Weatherman's N51 guitar as the one was slightly twisted and the top frets buzzed.  Also, turns out the sway bar was busted.  Same one he got for his birthday last year.  Should have just bought it from Funky Munky Music.  Jon the owner, is the #1 Washburn Nuno Bettencourt guitar store in the world.  He is the one I got the N4 for Father's Day.  And I will continue to use for all things guitar related in the future.  The N61's are retired and Jon bought out the remaining A stock stock from Washburn recently.  So, once they are gone they are gone.  Neck arrived the next day I got to assist in putting the new neck on the guitar and putting on the tremolo as the necks are a biotch to replace with only 2 hands.    We have the cream colored one that came with a dark neck, the neck from Funky was natural colored.  So, now the N61 is all better and IMO looks better with a natural colored neck than the one it originally came with. Go figure.       
  

•  Sully went back to LaDaun the wonder groomer to get a bath and such.  He looks darling, now that his hair is longer.  For the $25 it cost with tip have her do it, I saved time. In my opinion, well worth it.  She does such a good jog making him all fuzzy and fluffy.  Pics will go up on his website in the next couple days.  
  

• I was thrilled to hear that "Welcome All Again," by Collective Soul was used on the Fall Finale of PSYCH. There is something with PSYCH writers and The Mentalist. I am not 100% but PSYCH makes references to the other show all the time. I never cared till "Welcome" was used to promo the new season for The Mentalist. First thing I did was tweet to the writers of PSYCH, "The Mentalist got @Collective_Soul for their promo, top that! Your move." I never got a tweet back, but got the reply in spades on Friday night.  I was partially engaged in the show, my nose in a textbook, until after the reference to one man, that the mere mention of his name makes me blush (circa mid 1990's) Billy Zane.  They need to get him on the show, not just make obscure mentions to him from time to time.

 So to garner my full attention for the car chase scene they pull out the big guns:

 Hmm, how do I top that last one?  Yea, really you cant in pictures can you?

•  I found out I have to limit the amount of Chocolate Mini Wheats from Little dude as Saturday we had GI issues from eating 3/4 of a box of them.  He has never eaten that much of anything before! Maybe that's why hes so fat?  That still irks me, I guess there was a huge backlash from people about those little slide indicators I veugly talked about in that blog.  
• I am setting up a giveaway on my blog, I will drop hints in posts here and on twitter till I make a formal announcement within the next two weeks.  1st clue: I have a "brass" monkey...
  

So that's about it, folks the week went by at break neck speed. 

Creative Mind...

I really admit more than I should sometimes.  Why, because I can, silly!  I like to mess with people and make them wonder things, again because I can.  I think it is one thing I picked up from my mother, and it's not always the best, but I deal with it!  :)   So, who is my latest victim you may ask?  Well my Leagal Aspects instructor, Christine.  She asssigned us to acquire HIPAA files, Release of Info docs and some other misc crap stuff from one of our docs, or dentist.  Now, she never specified general practitioner or whatever, leaving my overly demented creative mind to say "Hmm, how can I make this assignment stand out?"  So I have this great idea, I'll hit up my plactic surgeon's office for the records needed!  This way when Christine gets all my paperwork she will see it from a plastic surgon and think what the hell is this lady all about, and why does she have a plastic surgon?  It will really make her wonder about my sanity me.  It's maybe a little immature and possibly a tad cruel, but part of you has got to agree it is funny as all hell!

Hot Chocolate

I found this quiz on Stacie's Madness Blog and had to give it a shot.

Before my White Mocha addiction began with the beginning of Logan's Kindergarten experience, the day didn't begin till one of these babies were drank!

You Are Hot Chocolate

You are a total kid at heart. For you, autumn is only a warm up to winter fun - sledding, ice skating, and snowman building. You really get into the spirit of the colder months. You're the first to pull out your favorite scarf and plan your Christmas presents. In fact, you tend to get so hyper about fall and winter that you wear yourself out! And there's nothing like a perfectly made cup of hot chocolate on a cold night to help you recharge.

What Autumn Drink Are You?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

Weekend Picture Challenge 2 !

I decided to take the photo challenge from over at I Hate Whine's blog

This week the rules are : Go to your first folder and get the first picture !
I went to the first file I could think of I had saved.  Feb 18th, 2004.  Little dude makes his camera debut.  I should have realized then and there how big his head would be.  What I want to know is why in the heck did I get one of those crappy 2D images in Omaha when out in Hastings they had the 4D?  For the rest form the album click here!

I'm cool what can I say?

No really I am, I'm not just saying that. 

I know there is something wired a bit funky in my brain, but it just adds to my coolness!

I know I am below average in something, and sometimes alright with it.  Especially when the heat is on! 

When my husband says it's like sleeping next to a corpse at night, I am totally not offended. 

Have I lost most some of you yet?

The average body temp for people is 98.6, right.  That is just an average though.  There are those very few who may be a bit above or below.  I am below average with a core resting temp of a charming 96.8, cruel irony I know.  Add in the BP that's super low and it makes for fun times let me tell you. 

I am rarely warm, I know I am getting sick when my temp hits the average, and by then I am about to crawl out of my skin.  The hubs has always been light-heart ed about it, and cracks jokes. 

For instance last night when it was midnight and I was eating a Popsicle (blue bunny banana, 'cause they are the best!).  He was like, "Great now you are gonna complain about freezing!"  I countered with, "No, I feel hot.  I have to cool myself down."  All supportive and shat he then says, "What you get your body temp to normal!?"  Wow, totally feeling the love, he begins to reminisce about the time when I freaked out the anesthesiologist with my body temp/BP (72/40 was the BP).  "Ha ha, he asked if you were dead!"  I was awake and sitting in a chair being prepped for a breast reduction.  Had I not been trying to calm my nerves (n was putting myself in a meditative calm state) I would have A. slapped him for laughing at the comment AND B. slapped the dude for mentioning death before he rendered me unconscious. 

So yes, by nature, I am cool.  A whole 1.8 degrees cololer with out even trying!   I walk around in the heat of the summer perfectly content while others are sweating up a storm, sometimes in socks even.  But, body doesn't like the temp swings so I have to bundle up till my body adjusts.  Then I am fine to go out with my coat unbuttoned, etc.  Weird I know!  And before you ask, I have had the ol' ticker checked out and it has nothing to do with my heart.  It's all my brains fault.