Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Just remember parents this is the education your are paying the big bucks for.  And the rest of us, this is our future leaders STOP trying to paper-cut your wrists to death. I will never look at The Very Hungry Caterpillar book the same way again... 

Thanks Marsha for the pic.

So there will be no nudity this time. Picked a dress.

Had any of the dresses in my final three ended up in this color I would have picked it.  This is one of my fav colors, EVER!  So I am getting it below the knee, with this neckline and short sleeves.  I sent my product request to eShakti, so here we go for the review of eShakti.com.

Since running around naked would get me in trouble, help a girl out would you?

I have been asked to review a dress from eShakti.  I was like, easy peasy, I can pick jout a dress noooo problemo.  As with all things in my life, it was not as easy as I thought.  The dresses are AWESOME, and there are sooo many of them.  So help me out and help me choose as dress.  Here are the choices:

All will have cap sleeves if that helps and will go to just below the knee.  And I need to know soon.  Leave a comment with what you think.  This place will be where I get my dresses and such from in the future, I am almost sure. 

How to pull a woman stunt on your husband and (maybe) live to tell about it.

So, as most of you know, I over the past year have converted from dark hair to blond highlights.  Let's be honest, my hair hates any color you apply to it.  It rejects black people!!!  MY stylist, God bless her, has slowly been converting over to a dirty blond. But it's taking too damned long. Why am I doing this?

Little dude, and parental pride.  I was genetically blessed to get most of my fathers traits; brains to spare most times, the bizarre colored eyes, the olive skin, the ungodly thick hair with the natural wave.  Now, in planning out little dude it came down to an experiment in paternal genetics.  Weatherman, looks like his dad, I look like my bio-dad.  So being the competitive arseholes science geeks we were we wondered how would our offspring look  Basically came out as we guessed.  Less the dirty blond hair with the patches of dark.  Yes, even the hairdresser calls him patches.  So little dude is like a mini-me with OCD's and a penis.  Except for the damn hair.  I am sick to death of people looking at my pasty-arse husband with his light hazel eyes and saying they see little dude.  My breaking point was of course the MIL, telling family that lived far away that Little dude looked just like the weatherman.  WTF!?  No, he doesn't.  He acts like him, thanks for passing on that charming I worry about everything down not 1 but 2 generations. 

So, since I have lightened my hair, the comments around town have subsided.  The MIL is a lost cause, but tomorrow, after over a year, I am cheating on my hairdresser and going else where to get this transition completed.  Wish me luck. 

Oh, did I mention, I haven't told weatherman about doing this.  I'm not going to either.  Lets see how long it takes him to notice.  After all his running male stupidity record is 2 weeks 3 days.  That was for me after 3 years of wearing glasses, wearing contacts and him not noticing for that long.  Yep, I'm pulling a woman stunt.  He he.  I hope it all turns out and my hair doesn't get friend by this lady in the AM.  If it does, I blame the MIL.  Just sayin'.

Ticks Me Off Tuesday

So I am going to cheap out on all of you and post something from yesterday.  Kind of.  Little dude had his first soccer practice.  I had already had run ins with the "coach" we will call her "ditzy broad" for lack of a non profane term.  Our initial encounter was several months ago at the gym.  Weatherman was on some cardio thing in the back of the carido room, I in the front on a rollerblading type machine(So maybe 20 feet between us).  There are two of these air skate machines, almost on top of each other.    Next to me as I am smoothly gliding, is this weird old-ish lady making weird noises and acting like she is having an orgasm on it.

For a while I tried to ignore her, not laugh you all knew I was dying too.  15 minutes was my limit, and I like my tunes LOUD.  I left went and stood against the wall behind weatherman.  He was wrapping up and exited the machine.  "WTF is that?" pointing to the chick.  I didn't even want to speculate.  We never went back in there again, and just stay on the hamster wheel they call a track. 

So what is the point I ask myself this all the time? I get the rooster, with less than a week and a half till the first game.  Guess who is the coach?

 K, maybe shave 10 years off but still the creepy old lady.  Awesome.  So, lets Fast Forward to Monday's practice.  We get there 5 minutes early she is nowhere to be seen, the other teams are wrapping up.  they take the nets, and leave.  So there is a group of us standing like morons with kids in wind of 30 miles an hour.  She finally comes and informs us, she is coaching not just our team, but another K league team.  So she is doing 2 of the same age.  Do the math, even if you suck at math it spells DISASTER.  First thing she does is tell the parents the kids like when they run the field with them.  

 I may be a decade removed from the sport, but never remember a coach selling that line of crap.  So the weatherman is all gun ho about going out there and being "Dad."  Right?  This is the same man who tormented his friend his whole life for loving, "A Commie Sport."  And another direct quote, "My kid will never play that commie sport."  See the trend.  Weatherman was a different kind of field fairy in school, the Track and I can't play a real sort so I'll just run Field kind.   No offense to blog readers who ran track, I'm making a point and I dated really only soccer/hockey players when I was in school, he hated soccer.  Why the turn of cheek.  The idea of a kid throwing a ball at Little Dudes head scared the living piss out of him when I pointed out statistically, he is predisposed genetically to getting hurt.  Oh and I did sign him up for baseball, this week.  It starts AFTER soccer.  I digress. 

She is standing there with parents from both her teams and tells them to all work together and scrimmage.  Umm, lady these are 5yo's, its some kids first time playing.  Another dad took over when she just walked away to another field with the other team.   We fired her, actually it was more like a coup. 

 This dad who has played soccer is going to coach now, we think hope.  Weatherman volunteered to help when ever he could which will be almost never, but made him look good.  All the while, the parent who actually played the f-ing sport is sitting on her arse on the sidelines plotting painful ways to harm weatherman putting in all the dates for the games.  I was ticked, I tweeted about it.  Weatherman now babysits what I say on twitter, and a couple hours after we were home started wining about it. 

 This blog really is my last sanctuary via the web.  He has no concept of social networking, blogs, etc.  Drives me up the wall.  I wish he wouldn't have asked to follow me.  His reasoning, "Whats the big deal?"  The deal is every f-in time I type something you ask about it.  Now he put the app on his blackberry and can check it all the time.  Oh joy.  I have like 6 friends who actively read my tweets.  Others just have me on because let's face it, I'm a whole lot of awesome to have more followers.  What evs.  It will be a constant struggle here, forever.  I was a social being before I met him, I will never be the whatever he wants me to be.  I have given up so much for him, his issues, his comfort.  I don't act, I don't dance, sing, basically do ANYTHING outside the house and yet...grrrr. 

 (This and all pics above are via Google images)

 Can't I get a place just for me to talk to my posse?  So now that it is nearing 2AM and I should get to bed as I have to bring little dude to school in the AM, one positive of all this we are booked for 6 Saturdays in a row now.  No visit to the In laws.  Say it with me, Oh HELLS YES!!!!! darn.  And I was looking forward to going there for the weekend like one looks forward to a forced lobotomy. 
 
I say to the ditzy broad you suck, you started all this tonight drama Monday, with your lack of coaching.  You suck and are awarded my Ticks Me Off Tuesday award for the week.  Weatherman, you can just get it every week at the stroke of midnight, you know you did at least one thing every week to deserve it. 

So, your turn to post your gripe(s) below. It's time to let it all hang out here, I'm WAY cheaper than a shrink.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

So this is from my BFF Marsha, who to cheer me up sent this to me via email.  I knew there was such a place, I just couldn't find it.  Damn GPS POS!

 

 how many times have you been up it, without the paddle?  BTW, it's even more funny, as the creek that runs just past our property, you know the one that floods all the time is nicknamed Shit Creek.  Its run-off from the Feedlot about 5 miles up the road 50K head of cattle strong and all the farm chemicals it collects until it backs up into our yards.  Yummy!

Ticks Me Off Tuesday

So before the emails again come flooding in let me set the record straight.  I know I have been not keeping up on the blog, but I have been reading the blogs on my blogger roll.  Maybe not commenting, but I read them.

So I will start off the TMOT with an easy mark, my mother.  Or as I like to call her, Mommy Dearest. 

She called the other night, I heard the theme from Psycho, her ringtone BTW and for some masochistic reason or another picked up the phone.  She promptly began dispensing advice on this that and another thing.  This being Little Dude's inability to STFU or sit still. Ever.  She was like, " tell him is quiet time, and read a book."  Can you all say she has spent no time with this child?  I have threatened duct taping his arse a chair.  I got nothing.  He is just A Boy.  My mother has zero parenting skills unless you count beating the living crap out of the kid till she submits because she cannot move.  Funny bow as a grandmother THAT never came up in her sagely words of parental wisdom.  That is also why she is not allowed to be alone with my child.  Ever.  For as big of a pain as he can be he will not be getting the tar kicked out of him for punishment or fun.  I'm a yeller, not a hitter.  I yell loud.  Nuf' said.  Then she decides to hit up fer favorite, my lest favorite subject of more children.  I am all for my friends having more kids, they can have at it, me, umm nope.  I would dig it out and throw it away if they would let me.  There is the sob story that my sister will likely have to get a hysterectomy because of some medical condition.  Blah, blah, likley not even true.  I gave you your first born legitimate grandchild, get off my back.  This one about killed me, so I guess you and LD have at least one thing in common...His was unintentional tho.  And I love him...

 So to make it even more uncomfortable, she then begins to discuss birth control with me, yep you read that right.  She who had two babies with two different men, but finally married the second for a couple months, talking to me about BC.  OMG,OMG OMFG!  It then goes into her talking in great detail of her menstrual cycles.  Who the hell is this person, these are not convros I have with my mother.  Ever.  Having my mother discus parenting, child rearing and birth control can best be summed up in one of my tweets last week after it happened:  Having her discus those things with me is like the devil describing how he gets into heaven.  Really.  I need to just hit ignore on the phone. 
*I am up to my flipping eyeballs in schoolwork.Sadly something has to give, I tried it being my sanity, but that was so far gone, it's just non-existent right now.   Don't think I am just being a slacker on here, I am also helping out running a Collective Soul fan site which I am hardly updating as soon as the new tour dates come out not.Honestly, can I just get one of the guys who blesses his darling presence on this site with the password and log in and have him do it as they come out.  I won't tell Donna, honestly, just till classes are over.  Pretty please?  No?  Damn it, well then the site will be lagging for another month where I work on it. Also the FB page associated with the site, and another page to get the band looked at by SNL to play.  Have I been working on them, not so much.  I'll admit it, the rest of the crew knows I am busy as heck, and understand or are bitching about my being a slacker behind my back...completely.  Great girls the whole lot of'em. Come summer girls unless I fail A&P 2 I will be pulling my share a bit better. 

So back to the blog, since that's why ya'll are here.  Gimmie a bit of time like 30 days to get my classes done, and done right shat together.

My Pharmacology prof decided in March that all future papers need to be formatted professionally in APA.  Umm, I was already done with the class when this little nugget was released.  Which led to a scathing email from her saying that I must not have spent enough time on the class to get it done in a month and a half so it may have been in response to an email I sent in calling her out on it being unfair that she changed everything almost mid semester.  Um, es-sku-zz-e me?  I spent every waking moment doing your class, lady, till 3 AM most some nights so lay the hell off.  Oh, and I got your class AND Disease Conditions done in a month and a half.  Eat that!   Oh and a side note, I'm getting an A in that class.  With very similar papers to the ones you say are so hastily put together, you don't get how I spent time on them.  At LEAST a week per.  Now I have to redo two more papers OR take a B or a C.  AYFKM?   I really don't have time to do this crap again.  I was told that since it was not in the syllabus, I can protest the grade.  By damn I will too.  

 Then there is medical typing I started it after I got the 1st two classes done.  So March 1-2 I started it.  I have to retype a 386 page book, sometimes 3 times in places that's like about 1000 pages for those not so hot in mathematics.  Sweet baby Jesus help me!  If I don't have it yet carpal tunnel is right around the corner most days I want to cut my fingers off.  Trust me slamming them in a door has crossed my mind more than once.  I am amazingly on page 327 of said 386 pages, somehow.  Little Dude is all pissy because I am constantly in front of the computer doing this class.  "Mom what about your farm?"  I know honey, I'd rather me playing farmville too.  The weatherman for a bit complained that I took a bit of time every couple hours to play that on FB.  I went a day without doing anything but classes.  He quickly encouraged the respite as I was so stressed I bit his head off flat out refused sex because I was so mentally drained from all the books and information being thrown at my brain.

I need mindless games to break it all up, or I will be making shanks out of soap and trying to slit my wrists P.S. we have liquid soaps...I'm just sayin!

So I can't really complain about Disease Conditions and Disorders.  The instructor didn't even read my papers just smacked an A+ on them.  Yep, just like the good ol'days/ how it should be.  Her tests were time, so I was breathing thru a paper bag on them, I always got them done and work well under pressure.  But the ticking down is enough to drive me mad.  I happily did them all closed book and no notes thank you very freaking much.

On to my nemesis of classes: Anatomy and Physiology 2, AKA the class from hell.  So, I somehow managed a C(-) in the class over the summer.  I learned three things from that class: 
1. never take classes in the summer to get ahead.  Summer school is for stupid people who cannot get shat done during the real school terms. 
2. Don't take summer school as you have less time to do a complete class that during a regular semester you would have twice the time.  It's punishment, for you, and your family. 
3. A&P 1 sucked over the summer because the book and the tests don't quite line up,

instructor knows and doesn't care.  Damn him. Same book and instructor for A&P2.  Awesome pass me the soap. Dear weatherman tried to calam me the other night as I was looking for something to start the textbook on fire, "Just be happy it took 30 years to challenge your mind."  Challenge, oh no darling weatherman, this is mental rape.  I'm not kidding.  I guess on half the questions, those would be the ones I get wrong BTW...It doesn't challenge me, it makes me feel stupid.  Then I get pissed and go all Cesar red zone and want to break something.

So All my Med Typing is due the of this month 30th, A&P2 on May 6th.  I will try to get in a blog or two before then.  If anyone wants to guest blog, my email is on the side or leave a comment and I'll get it sooner or later.  I'm not picky, you have seen my writing.

Oh and still nothing from OKC, and it really blows!

  I hope we hear something this week, or I will badger suggest to the weatherman to put out for another of the jobs that are out right now.  I can't say what that one is yet.

  I don't want to curse OKC.

And to add to the fun, I get to visit my inlaws in a couple weeks.  Anyone want to shove bamboo shoots up my fingernails, now would be the time. 

I will be black blogging soon.

(this and all images are via Google Images)

So in closing my Ticks Me Off Tuesday list: 

1. Mommy Dearest is still a delusional so and so.
2. Semester from hell.
3. Ignoring my family, shirking parental attention to offspring, and dog.
4. Weatherman at the time of this post still has heard nothing from OKC.  Damnit.
5. I posted a blog so get off my back for at least another week.  I know I am slacking, but I will spam your Google readers again as soon #2 is done.  That's funny I said #2

So, your turn to post your gripe(s) below. It's time to let it all hang out here, I'm WAY cheaper than a shrink.

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

So this is the second coolest bumper sticker I have ever seen the first is here.  I first saw it at my hippy neighbors house, I meant to get a picture but Little Dude went all spastic diva after a mile and a half walk and forgot.  So, a I was co-piloting the Rav yesterday, I say the SUV again and snapped this for your viewing pleasure.  It's funnier then heck, because it  is will be true:

For those that are gonna complain about the glare...it says  "I embarrass my offspring."  How f-in awesome!  And the person who pimps that ride, really does embarrass the kids.  Tho, I would totally want them for my parents, seeing as my mother is a pathetic kool-aid drinking Obama Zombie.  I'll get into that another post, like a tick me off Tuesday real soon.  She's always good for an installment. 

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Do you ever think to yourself, "self what does 21K+ in road repairs look like?"  Well let me stop your brain racking, like this and 2 other "patches" down the street.  All will have to be fronted by the people on the street, as the county wont fix it, and we are outside Hastings City Limits.  THere are only 20 houses on the road, and most are cheap bastards and dragging their feet to put money in to fix the road.  Where the hell is the community support, talk is cheap.  We are truly the red-headed step children of the area.  Another slap in the face, I just paid my property taxes yesterday, 600 for roads.  Just not our road. I about bottom out in the Rav!  Nothing says welcome to our little neighborhood than this:

Ticks Me Off Tuesday

Buying a new car?  Sure, because I want to do the fridge incident on a whole new freaking level!

Being the sadist I am I fell in love with 2 Mariners, chrome everywhere prrrr.  Any fo-zizzle.  The weatherman saw an '07 on the lot in Grand Island, it was green, and a hybrid.  Hrm, Krimmyk loves her Rav4-V6.  Just a bit pissy with the whole recall thing, not MY year, my recall was supposedly minor.  It would be a first for us, a used car.  We pulled up the carfax report on the Green Mariner, one owner, all that jazz, it was a fleet car, yadda yadda. 

Board yet?  Trust me it gets fun.  Last week I began calling about said car.  "Dude" we met out on the lot was on vaca, I don't like to leave my name or have people call me.  Now, I have no problem giving my business to those who are actually busting their humps, I don't get vaca's ever, so pardon my bitchiness.    Weatherman insisted on waiting for "Dude."  I kept calling last week, differing accents yeah you read that right, fake names asking differing people about it.

I was told it was on the lot on Friday morning.  Saturday we drove the 45 minutes up to see it, sure as hell it was not there!  I called while in the neighboring parking lot and they said it was never there, but in Lincoln!  So your telling me the guy I was lying to, was lying to me.  Son of a...

I waited and called again yesterday told I could get some info, guy never called me back.  Called stalked via the phone and asked for "Dude" as he was to be back today, he wasn't in by the third call and 2PM.  He decided to not come in today.  Must be freaking nice, I guess he makes sooo much cash working at a car lot.  Damn between used cars and night Walmart stocker, I married WAY wrong!  Am I right ladies?  Sorry inside joke. 

I talked to a "manager" who would "get back to me in a couple minutes" with info.  Zip, zero, zilch. So on to give them the finger and look at the brand new hybrid on a competitors lot.

On to Frontier's lot...I walked up this afternoon, said listen I want #'s .  He messed around.  I wasn't thrilled but said call me with the info.  He called about 2 hours later and said, "Uhhh sorry but they want to look at the car."  Dear asshat, the car WAS there, they didn't want to take the time to look AT IT!  I did redrive out and I went thru hoops and they said 15 K .  Not before insulting the hell out of me.  Lets see, first off if you are like over a foot taller than someone, you shouldn't hover over them.  I mean dude was standing all tall over me like he was Ryan Buell or something...quick back story I stand firmly with the whoforted folks Ryan is kind of a douche bag!

Next just because I am an at home mother, and student doesn't mean I'm not busy as all get out.  "Oh I figured you had a real job, you seem like you are always busy."  I shat you not he said it, and I let him live.  It took every ounce of gumption I had.  It would have been one of those kill them with your bear hands ones too.  You don't say that to any mother! 

So me being the vindictive beyotch high road person I am I countered with, "Well at least I am bettering the world by being there for my kid whenever he needs me.  It's not like you dreamed of selling cars in Hasting NE when you grew up."  Yep, I went there.  It became a pissing contest chat on betterment of life, making it on your own and personal success.  Then he says, "I don't tell many people this, so why tell me my brother is on the starting line for the Saints."

K so I didn't like you to begin with AND your brother is a member of the organization that paid my old place of residency to cover up a team rape of a woman in the '90?  I wouldn't give a crap who your "famous" brother is, I rooted for the Colts.

Honestly.  It was uncomfortable, I am spoilded at my dealership.  I tell them what I want, how much and what I would like ball park for my vehicle.  The owner sends us handwritten cards and has even come out from Mt. High office to say hi knowing I was in getting the oil changed one day.  No games, gimmie the numbers and make both our lives easier.  i left told I would call in the AM, I will to tell him to lose my number. 

If I am going to drop 15K on a new car, I think I don't want the run around from one dealership, and insulting from another.  I did see this commercial this evening, maybe I'm just emotional, or maybe its the sock monkey, but it has promise. Naw, right now I will keep my Rav 4.  But right now Both Anderson and Frontier Ford you get my Ticks Me Off Tuesday award for the week.  I'm not giving up, I am itching for a new ride, when it's right, we will pounce.

So, your turn to post your gripe(s) below. It's time to let it all hang out here, I'm WAY cheaper than a shrink.