Sanity is Sooo Overrated

MY adoring audience that tunes in to see the crap I go thru I have many many things I can say tonight.  That BIG interview for the Indi job, yep the weatherman all but screwed the pooch on it.  I always tell him, "be like me, be a bitch honest."  This would be the one damn time in 13 years he did it.  I blame it on the lack of caffeine in his diet.  They asked him his biggest mistake since joining the Weather circus, he says moving from LaCrosse.  Fair enough answer right, it's a good office, in a dream location, and not just because it's MY stomping grounds.  But he didn't stop there, he elaborated on it.  Still not so bad eh?  Well, he left LaCrosse to go to another CWSU (if you don't know what it is, that's coolio, it's where all the non-airport air traffic controllers "work").  Oh did I mention it was a MIC (Meteorologist in Charge) of one of these said places he was interviewing for?  He has heard nothing yeah or neh on the job, sending him spiraling into OCD/anxiety hell.  Here is the kicker, he told the Gods honest, stack of bibles truth!  He's [pissed at himself for telling the fricking TRUTH!  Like I again said to him today, most have this personal growth moment in their late teen early 20's.  He's forty.  I told him it's a pain in the arse having to bang heads with suck an annoying, irrational person isn't it.  Welcome to the last 13 years of my flipping life.  We had that moment of of crap for him.  He is now finally growing as a person, he wasn't a bad one before, but had no freaking balls too much an eager to please yes man at work.   Once he left the office, he was always a pain in the butt. 

Now with every action there must be a equal reaction right?  Ri-ght, with normal people.  I need to take a flippin bottle of anti-anxiety pills and crush them up into that crap he calls food.  I am truly about at wits end.  He is mentally checked out.  He has a horrid case of the Should-have/what-ifs.  Isn't there a law somewhere in some marriage doctoring somewhere that says when they start doing this crap you can beat them with a Stephens extended cut-a-way or something? I happen to have an extra on handy...  For every action in his life there is a peroid of time to freak out before, be fine during and go all to bittle afterward.  We are there now.  Even Little Dude asked when Daddy was coming back from la la land this evening while I was installing the new shower head and he was being sick in another bathroom from it all.  Dude, the kid knows it's not right.  That means there is hope for him right? 

The slap in my face came when the docs a couple months back pegged my asthma attacks on anxiety.  THe weatherman said it may be a good idea to go on it again and see how it works.  Esss-suce me?  Why?  Because I had Post pardom depression.  My family, not one of them gave enough shit about me after little dude was born to even look.  I was in a new place with no friends to notice. It took 18 months after giving birth for me to finally start to cry out of frusteration in the Docs office.  Here, take a happy pill, so I don't have to deal with your tears. Thanks for that stigma in my records Dr. Asshat!  So now when ever I have any issues it's "you could be depressed."  Umm, no.  I deal with a busy accelerated 5 year old, and husband who makes split second decisions at work but can't once he gets home, but I am not to the medicate me point.  Don't get me wrong, if you need something to take the edge off and not go postal, by all means, but I'm not to this point.  I would love form time to time to ring the weatherman's neck, sometimes Little Dude, and don't get me started on Mr. I crap into the wind, dog.  But all and all I am sane.  Oh and what they were calling anxiety attacks was an allergic reaction to my hypoallergenic earrings.  Nice job quacks!

There was no news on the job this week.  Either way an email usually goes out for or not for a job.  He could still get it, they could respect hi for his honesty, I know I do.  Even at the expense of moving out of hillbilly hell.  He walked the walk, and it was hard.  But isn't it always the first time?  I know it will be a long weekend of hand feeding his ego and assuring him he did the right thing.  BTW, he was NOT like this when I met him.  OCD's were mild, there was not self doubt.  I know this I am not going to make myself nuts trying to figure out why he is this way now.  I have a feeling, an inkeling, it has everything to do with his mother.  Pray for, light a candle, or burn some road kill for my sanity if you are so inclined.  I plan on shielding LD as best I can and pointing out this is not normal, assuring weatherman blah blah blah and maybe even brushing He-who-poops-into-the-wind.

Thanks if you made it this far without slitting your wrists with paper.  Till later.