More fun then drunken texts!

So there are times when my husband works overnight.  They are erratic and really don't effect my already awesome sleeping pattern.  And by awesome I mean dysfunctional.   Normally I will stay up way late, and sleep in 25-45 minute intervals, waking suddenly.  I have to have absolute dark too as my eyes tend to open, and stay there while I slumber. 

TMI?  Your welcome!  The only difference during the weatherman's overnights is the fact I am not to HAVE to stay in bed so as not to disrupt him.  This is also, in Krimsin logic, the perfect time for someone to try to break in to the house thinking there is just a woman and her kid alone.  As the weatherman says in the highly unlikely case someone would break in, they really have no idea what they are in for with me.  I am a little ninja. 

For real.  Hand to hand, or  weapons self defense was a coping mechanism I learned after the crap I went thru as a child, I vowed no one would ever be able to hurt me again.
So this all being shared and really not embarrassing enough after several nights of non sleep, but LOTS of school work done and high ratings for the Chiller Channel I went off the deep end so to speak and hot damn it was funny!  After I went thru the bitchy phase, I got to the funny giggly phase.  Sully woke me to his smacking his lips over and over and over.  Meaning passive-aggressive arse needed to go out side and use the loo.    This is after about 2 hours of sleep.  So to alert the weatherman to my stamina I texted the following:

Me: Who let the dog out? Me, Me, Me!Whose arse is going back to bed? Me, Me, Me.

Weatherman: You are funny.

Me:I believe the word you are looking for is delirous.  Or I will also except space-ran-ger.

WM: Parent humor.  Lol

Me:I'm so damn funny, I'm here laughing my arse off.  Sully is now sitting in the corner sucking his thumb.  Impressive, as he is still a dog... 

WM: Dude you are worrying me...Really.  Lol

He was still leery because I had a slight asthmatic episode last night about 2AM.  I told him about it, he replied asking if I was alright.  I went and took a shower in hopes of expediting the effectiveness of the rescue inhaler.  Excuse the hell out of me for forgetting to text him back.  So he was maybe wigging out for the duration of my shower.  It's not like he called to check on me tho.
  Me: having a bit of an asthmatic moment right now...Hmmm odd.
WM: Hmm is right, don't die (Really?  Thanks I'll keep that in mind!)

Me:Gee thanks, I'll keep that in mind. (Dumb-arse!)

WM:You doing better?
Me: I just can't get in a full breath right now, heart is racing, brain a bit fuzzy.

WM: Where is your inhailer? (Oh inhaler, I bet that would help out a bit!)

Me:  Heck if I know, you know the last time I used that thing?!  I don't! (now I'm pissy because I don't know where the stupid thing is, and the man is making sense.  I hate when he does that!) 

**I found it and about 20 minutes later I texted him back saying I was better found inhaler and showered.  Would be going to bed shortly.  Then the itching began.  Son of a gun, if I didn't get bit by a spider or something and it was an allergic reaction!  Time to bust out bug bombs or something.  Sorry Spidy!

But this is also why I was so sleepy and funny this morning.  I blame Spiderman, and as a ninja, I will take him and his little creepy fgriends O-U-T!  Here is to you all for better sleep, I got your back..