Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Its why we stand no chance of all being skinny.

Convincing advertising.  Seriously.

I'm Just Sayin'

I'm Just Sayin' the local edition. This is Meterologiest John Walsh,  he is the only local television weather person I will watch.  He actually knows what he is talking about and has been doing weather for some time.  He is also an active member of the community.

That being said, I really couldn't resist this comparison though, John forgive me.  ;-P  I picked this clip also because this was the storm we chased from Gibbon to just outside of Grand Island.  The clip needs to be cued to about 16 seconds to get the full effect.  ** Don't worry for the new readers I am a certified idiot for chasing storm spotter for over a decade now, and of course my weatherman is a real one, not one you see on tv.  We were never in any danger as we always flank a storm, not drive straight into them if we can help it. **

So here is my I'm Just Sayin'  


AND



If John wouldn't be so darn professional and dress so sharp maybe I would have still thought it may never have made the connection. 

Ticks Me Off Tuesday

Ticks Me Off Tuesday-Randomness Edition. Just a bunch of crap that irked me over this past week. 

• E*Trade.  Who doesn't love the E*Trade baby, the old one not the new one.  The first kid was cute and funny, this one, not so much.  Tell me I am wrong:

And now...

  Really, come on not as funny, and the kid not as cute.  Now that is not the only thing that ticks me off about it.  We had E*Trade as our bank till last week.  Keyword HAD.  Who all remembers the "have 1000 new accounts every day," and the "savings accounts 5X the national average."   Not so much anymore.   They sold a good chunk of their savings accounts to Discover(card) Bank.  Only keeping those who invest with them in high yields.  While I will miss the no charges on any ATM anywhere, I will not have my savings account being held with a credit card company.  IMHO E*Trade couldn't keep up with their old promises so they began to phase out the things they couldn't handle. Oh and the new baby has blue eyes so don't try to pass it off as the same kid.  So E*Trade you are greedy bast-ages for pulling that crap and changing out the kid, really who are you trying to fool? 

(The pics for you Christina ;-D)

• So I am going to cause some waves in the Havanese community with this comment, but it's my blog and I'll post it if I want to.  Quick background I have done a nationally recognized research paper on the breed interviewing some of the original breeders of the dogs in the USA.  I know what I am talking about.  Havanese are also known as Havana Silks.  I'm not going to get in the different breed pissing contest thing.  All Havs were nicknamed this about 300 years ago do to the long slowing silky coat.  So does this look silky to you?

The dog looks like a little Puli.  Sure body wise 'Ch. FuzzyFarm the Devil Made Me Do It' is beautiful, but the coat, not so much.  Last night during the Westminster show the lady who was co-commentating knew nothing about the dogs started asking about it this is how the coat is supposed to look.  The other commentator said tes.  WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!  It IS allowed in shows but it is not natural, these cords are created by hand, the don't cord like this naturally, they mat in a giant mess.   They are to look like this dang it!

Above is Baliey, Sully's Dad(sire).  Look at the flow in the coat.  Here is Sully's 1/2 sister Faith look no cords again just a beautiful flowing silky coat.  All pictures are from the Kokomo Kennels website.  Don't let the Kennel fool you, those are the only two dogs living in the home right now.  Soon to have another female pup but that's it there.    

• Starbucks, I have in the last couple months fallen HARD for the crack you put in the cup to addict us you.  I could drink you every day, or to make it easier, here is my arm, insert this and make the day easier...

 Really hook a girl up!  There is not a Starbucks in my town ticking me off, but that's not it.  Oh no it can't be just that simple.  when I oder at the local coffee houses there is one drink I love.  White Mocha's so to order locally at ANY of the 3 non-Starbucks' coffee houses it's small, white mocha, skinny, no whip, bean (chocolate covered espresso bean on top of the cup) tho please.  At Starbucks they have their own speak: tall, white mocha, non fat, no whip.  They have no single beans.  Last week the weatherman had ordered it mistakenly like this: 2 tall, white mocha's, skinny, no whip.  The lady taking our orders this lady, note how she looks like a tool?  Yeah.  She yells, yes, yells back to the weatherman, "I can make them non fat, not skinny's!  You still want them?"     I was flabbergasted, recovered faster then the weatherman who was licking his wounded pride.  He was just ordering since I was coughing.  Lady no one treats my husband like crap except for me, I earned it by saying I do!  Copping a 'tude I spat back with as must disgust she presented to us, "yep."  under my breath as the cups went from her death grip to the barista I pointed out she should

And for the record now at Starbucks at least in the drive up you will see this picture

In With the Good

Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte Rich espresso. Sweet, buttery, sugar-free cinnamon dolce syrup. Nonfat steamed milk topped with foamed milk and cinnamon dolce sprinkles. Skinny Vanilla Latte Sugar-free vanilla syrup. Nonfat steamed milk. And topped with foamed milk. Tazo® Vanilla Rooibos Full Leaf Tea African rooibos tea (naturally caffeine free) paired with Tahitian vanilla and cinnamon.

Anyone else see a word up there that was used with such disgust by the witch taking orders?  I'm just saying...

These are the annoying things for the week with me.  Time to award E*Trade, corded Hanvaese and the witch at Starbucks the Ticks Me Off Tuesday Award (random edition) for the week:  Boom Baby!  What's your gripes, annoyances, etc?  Leave a comment to let it all hang out!

He Wishes I had the Social Graces He Did, Giggle, Snort

Another installment of why we will never be Parents of the Year.  This one happened last night about midnight.  The weatherman was coming home from work and looks through the pile of mail.  The special sized guitar picks were there.  I told him to look at the envelope because it HAD to be a chick who wrote our address.  The penmanship was had big old circles on top of all the i's in my name.  It was just cutie.  I thought he would find it cute too.  What does he say, "What does 'tats units' mean.  Is that come kind of weird code"  WTH is he talking about? I think about it for a minute, really gears are a grinding.  A mental light bulb goes off, and I burst out laughing.  The package came from Canada.  It was French, a language I can speak, the weatherman cannot!  États-Unis.  Here honey this is for you:

  Lets be honest, if your hubs set himself up for and you don't over milk the mess up you are a bad wife.  Bad!  We laughed all over about it for 5 minutes and then went on talking about little dude.  He was super that day, but pulled an OCD on me.  I stared down, readers here know I'm married to something that amounts to Monk.  Any-fo-zizzle, I said Little Dude defiantly has your asshole personality.  Weatherman interjected, "He does bring my personality to a whole new level."  He is proud of this.  Weatherman's mother blames all his issues on his dad.  Umm no, her theory is she "watered him down with her personality"  Ri--gh--t.  She is the the consummate worrier, not my FIL.  

 This convro quickly went down hill sometimes in the gutter. Not in a fight way though a brall would have been fun.  Weatherman took a lame attempt at saying my crisis management was poor.  I stopped looked at him and began laughing my arse off again.  I looked at him and replied, "My crisis management is lacking huh?  Um, Elko need I say more?"  Nope I didn't.   Yeah I will always have Elko as my ace in the hole, and I'm not afraid to use it.  We went on with playful banter till I was making the kool aid and laughing so hard I had to put it down before I dropped it.  I got a "See your not managing the kool aid very well" from the weatherman in between his laughs.  I followed by, "How about I manage this upside your head." 

By this time we are both laughing so hard we have tears.

So to win it he states he wishes I had the social graces he did.  That could be true to a point.  I tend to be too honest.  Cocked my head to look at him.  He yells, "Tates Units baby!"  We laughed all the way up stairs with out kool aid and popcorn and watched Criminal Minds.  From time to time referring to tates unites and manage the kool aid picture upside your head. 

Most of you are reading this and thinking we are huge dorks.  You may not be too far off.
********************************************************************************** My next installment will be why I will never again encourage the weatherman to go to the eye doctor ever, never, ever again!

This Past Week Can Bite Me!

So this last week has been one for the books folks.  I became a target of cyber psychopaths yes you sick fucks I know you were here a little mole told me all about it, not just me but because my blog is unprofessional and personal they went on to target my friends and then seeping to new lows going on and on for days about my kid.  So I began distancing myself from everyone, heck YES I did.  Targeting my friends, really?  Some could handle it, some broke.  I only basically talked to a couple people.  One of which was my mother, I know MISTAKE!  She started on her whole hopes and dreams crap again.  I should have just pretended my phone was dying.  This lead to others who I thought were friends thinking blog posts were all about them and saying things that cannot be taken back (I would never insult a mothers children, ever).  When were those things said?  Why it was while I was mourning the loss of my friends husband. So be it with that person.  And to cyber freaks who got off on picking on a 5 year old, you may want to review the sticky I have posted on the top of this blog page about cyber bullying and underage children.   Have some more fun at either of our expense, and there will be repercussions.  Get a hobby that doesn't mean you bully #5yearoldgenius because it will take a couple calls to have your butts in slings.  To the rest of my readers not stalkers, sorry you had to read that.  That is all.

A few of you have asked the story of the car accident.  Here is the story and my take on it.   Read it all to the end before you judge:

Jim left before 6AM to go to work at the feedlot as he had for the last 29 years.  Kissing his wife goodbye.  The roads are a nightmare, worst in decades, and that was saying something considering how crappy this winter alone has been.  He drove on to HWY 6, before the turn to get to work a mini van with a husband and wife was out of control hit him.  There was no avoiding the van, they collided Jim's truck flipped.

At the same time the ambulances were screaming down the road Little Dude was letting Sully in from outside.  He looked at me and I did the little prayer I do every time I hear a ambulance, "Dear God, don't let it be anyone I know, and don't let it be anything major."  Sadly, my prayer wasn't fast enough, all three DOA of the medics.

I knew nothing of it, but the local news talked of avoiding the accident on HWY 6.  I saw some bad wreaks just on the way to drop off Little Dude at school.  Cars in ditches, some flipped on to their sides.  Again I was oblivious as to what had happened.  Till the end of Little Dudes school day.  Little Dude came out first in the class, no other friends at his side or with him everywhere, but there was his teacher.  I looked at the weatherman wondering what he did.  Lynn looked like she had been raked over the coals.  "Have you heard what happened to Judy?"  I shook my head, hoping she meant she won the lotto the night before or something like that.  "It's Jim, he was in an accident this morning.  The accident."  Weatherman was kind of listening and not looking at her "that is too bad" walking away with little dude.

She was looking wet in the eyes I pressed, "Is he alright?"  she shook her head.  I automatically had that burn in my eyes and that pain in the heart you feel when ever you witness news like that.  Now you wonder why she would tell me of all the parents.  Well, we talk almost daily.  Oh and her husband is was Jim's cousin.  She knew Judy and I were pretty tight form working together at the pool.  She quit there to spend more time with her husband.  They will never get around to all the things they planned.  Small town living people, everyone knows everyone or is related.  We talked for a bit in the cold, we hugged, we cried together.  Kids all around us.  She had to get going, duh the family was converging at Judy's home.  I got to the car and weatherman was like what is wrong with you women?  I enlightened him and he just went numb right there.  Drove home as I cried silently.  

We went scanning for  info on the car accident.  It was a husband and wife as I stated above.  No family in the area, no family in the country.  So now there are children with no family anywhere around here and are wards of the state of Nebraska.  Sure that annoys me, not planning for  worst case serious.  They had to be young enough to think nothing could ever happen, and didn't plan if something were to happen to both of them.  

Want to know the thing that pisses me off more and more about this situation it could have been avoided.  Totally.  Yeah the van may have still hit Jim's truck BUT what could have saved all three peoples lives?  Simple.  Seat belts.  Not one of them was wearing them.  It doesn't guarantee a get out of death free card, but it could levy ones chances on survival.

Come Sunday night an Aunt on my mother's side is rushed to the hospital unresponsive, and hooked on to a respirator.  She finally regained consciousness last night and the dysfunction ensued.  And can if all goes well be moved out of ICU by the end of the weekend if she continues to get better.   The sisters began fighting almost immediatly.  My mother announced to the entire ICU unit that if she ever graces this place as a patient none of there "crazy bastards" pointing at each sister and my grandmother are not allowed up there.  It's shat like that that really does make me glad that I wasn't A: there, B: living anywhere close.

I'm not close to anyone on that side of the family, and the fact if you look up unhealthy in a dictionary and see her pic makes it a mess to deal with.  B is over 400lbs, doesn't care, lung issues, kidney issues, COPD, and congestive heart failure.  CHF is a slow process for her, it's been about 2 years since that was diagnosed.  She will sadly be back in there, likely soon. I know I will be summoned back home, then the question becomes do I go?

So this past week you get a belated TMOT.  And you can bite me.

Sometimes They Don't Come Home

It is a phrase I pray to God I never here.  That being said I have many tears right now for a dear friend who lost her husband suddenly this morning.  Last time we talked it was about what she and him were going to do with their free time.  He was involved in an automobile accident where occupants in both cars lost their lives.  Not one of the 3 were wearing seat belts.  They were all DOA before help could arrive.  God be with the entire family.  I take comfort in knowing he always kissed her goodbye. 
All the plans, thoughts, and dreams gone in a matter of seconds.  Judy I am so sorry for your loss.

More fun then drunken texts!

So there are times when my husband works overnight.  They are erratic and really don't effect my already awesome sleeping pattern.  And by awesome I mean dysfunctional.   Normally I will stay up way late, and sleep in 25-45 minute intervals, waking suddenly.  I have to have absolute dark too as my eyes tend to open, and stay there while I slumber. 

TMI?  Your welcome!  The only difference during the weatherman's overnights is the fact I am not to HAVE to stay in bed so as not to disrupt him.  This is also, in Krimsin logic, the perfect time for someone to try to break in to the house thinking there is just a woman and her kid alone.  As the weatherman says in the highly unlikely case someone would break in, they really have no idea what they are in for with me.  I am a little ninja. 

For real.  Hand to hand, or  weapons self defense was a coping mechanism I learned after the crap I went thru as a child, I vowed no one would ever be able to hurt me again.
So this all being shared and really not embarrassing enough after several nights of non sleep, but LOTS of school work done and high ratings for the Chiller Channel I went off the deep end so to speak and hot damn it was funny!  After I went thru the bitchy phase, I got to the funny giggly phase.  Sully woke me to his smacking his lips over and over and over.  Meaning passive-aggressive arse needed to go out side and use the loo.    This is after about 2 hours of sleep.  So to alert the weatherman to my stamina I texted the following:

Me: Who let the dog out? Me, Me, Me!Whose arse is going back to bed? Me, Me, Me.

Weatherman: You are funny.

Me:I believe the word you are looking for is delirous.  Or I will also except space-ran-ger.

WM: Parent humor.  Lol

Me:I'm so damn funny, I'm here laughing my arse off.  Sully is now sitting in the corner sucking his thumb.  Impressive, as he is still a dog... 

WM: Dude you are worrying me...Really.  Lol

He was still leery because I had a slight asthmatic episode last night about 2AM.  I told him about it, he replied asking if I was alright.  I went and took a shower in hopes of expediting the effectiveness of the rescue inhaler.  Excuse the hell out of me for forgetting to text him back.  So he was maybe wigging out for the duration of my shower.  It's not like he called to check on me tho.
  Me: having a bit of an asthmatic moment right now...Hmmm odd.
WM: Hmm is right, don't die (Really?  Thanks I'll keep that in mind!)

Me:Gee thanks, I'll keep that in mind. (Dumb-arse!)

WM:You doing better?
Me: I just can't get in a full breath right now, heart is racing, brain a bit fuzzy.

WM: Where is your inhailer? (Oh inhaler, I bet that would help out a bit!)

Me:  Heck if I know, you know the last time I used that thing?!  I don't! (now I'm pissy because I don't know where the stupid thing is, and the man is making sense.  I hate when he does that!) 

**I found it and about 20 minutes later I texted him back saying I was better found inhaler and showered.  Would be going to bed shortly.  Then the itching began.  Son of a gun, if I didn't get bit by a spider or something and it was an allergic reaction!  Time to bust out bug bombs or something.  Sorry Spidy!

But this is also why I was so sleepy and funny this morning.  I blame Spiderman, and as a ninja, I will take him and his little creepy fgriends O-U-T!  Here is to you all for better sleep, I got your back..

I'm Just Sayin'

So I took the executive decision and decided I should make the I'm Just Sayin' a running theme in my blog.  Usually I will see people and randomly say, "oh he/she/it looks like so and so from..."  I know a misspent youth watching too much TV, playing video games and reading books.  And darn warped photographic memory to boot.

Well home dude at my frequented coffee house was my target today.  I pulled up at the drive thru and knocked over the tip jar with my mirror, my bad.  It was empty anyways was greeted by my barista.  Now he is very nice and can remember I cannot do whip creme but love the chocolate covered beans.  I ordered a White Knight today.  If you don't know what that is it is a tripple shot of espresso and white mocha.  Oh yessss, "I am feelin' better now!"  Which could be the reason for the last two posts and more typos then usual.  So without further ado I'm Just Sayin' the creepy guy from the movie "The Burbs" meets The Barista...

I would like the Barista to know I did pimp the coffee house so the reason I asked for your picture wasn't a total lie. Please don't spit in my coffee if you see this blog.  :-)

Pretty Fly....

What to do when you are bored at work ...
 
 
What to do...

1. Kill a few Flies

2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.

3. Once they are dry, pick a pencil and paper... Let your  imagination flow.

Here are a few examples...

I could have done this at my last job, but it would have been cockroaches.  Thanks for the email Marsha, and I hope all of you enjoy it.

Ticks Me Off Tuesday

Sorry to delve dark, but its been a rough week, full of stupidity from one place or another.  I have a small loyal network of bloggers who read my rants, and they are usually smarter for reading this.  Take for instance one who emailed me this quote after reading my blog.  It's from Billy Madison, and sums up the mental fortitude one gets from reading my blog...

 

See, your IQ just plummets after rises reading this!  This is the mean people suck edition. 

• People who take stuff in confidence and splash it all over for the world to see.  For your eyes only means just that.  Fine somethings I said made it to a bunch of flipping people I don't even know.  Fine.  But the harshness coming from one of those people was out of fricking control.  It went from

to

 

So fast, it caught me off guard!  {scrambling for mace and the taser, I was} "I don't need anymore friends," for sure like that. So, if you don't like me:  

• People who don't know me and make preconceived notions of me.  I am neither feeble or weak, and I sure as HELL am not a follower.  Anyone who knows even a little about me knows that.  I was told that I am following blindly someone elses vendetta, against others.  Oh F*cking pl-ease!  Yep, I dropped the F*bomb, but this is serious stuff folks.  I have not ever or will I follow what others say just to be one of the gang.  That is not me. 
  
  That is also likely why I have few friends I trust, I don't fit into the elitist cookie cutter, Stepford wife mold that this area presents.  I think the quote was "something, something drink the kool-aid..."  While I think the drink is rather refreshing and the fizz packets they have right now ARE 'da bomb, I hardly think that was what was meant. 

Wrapping this one up:  Me=crappy follower, more leader.  This guy=crappy leader good with teleprompter.  And to answer your snarky question no it wasn't him that said I drank Kool-aid.

• This one is self explanatory, but let me add this:  Then stay the heck out of my the real world while you have your "FUN" at others expense.

• Attack my cred as a parent.  Even the Monster-in-law won't do this!  You know why?  Because for all the imperfections I have as a person, I give my all to the little dude.  Yes, he is very bright and has been reading independently since right before he was 3.  Hell he knew the entire alphabet and all the planet including Pluto before he was 2.  Don't believe me, ask real-life friends who actually are lucky enough to get to know him.  Call me names and try to hate on me stranger but DO NOT say things about my kid.  If he is not at school he is next to me at home.  That is how it is, always has been.  So step the hell off and back the hell off.  It's not my fault that he has exceptionally bright parents even though they may have been dropped on their heads as children one of which was reading at two and the other is a very bright scientist.  Oh you didn't know that?  Umm, could it be because you shot off your damn mouth before knew who you were talking too?  I think so.
  
  
   
• This is another one that got me this week.  Hopes and dreams.  Whose life is exactly the way you pictured it in your youth? {looks around, no hands up}  So instead of dealing with the choices you have made and put on your big girl pants, you decide to lash out at others?  Come on, grow a pain and think before you act for a change.  

Let's just say people can smell the bull shat you are shoveling a mile away and it getting so high, it's gonna tumble it's time to own up and deal with it.  Stop the lies and either be honest or get the heck out of my life.  Quietly please.

So any-whoo this has been a week of annoying things/ mean people and that sucks.  Let's hope next week is more snarky and fun.  But I had to get this shat off my chest.   So I will go back to my main train of thinking:

Lets hand out the award to all the mean people we had to deal with this week: 

So who are the mean sucky people you had to deal with this week?  Leave a comment.  We shall make a voodoo doll list together, lol!